If Only
by Kenza Valentine
Summary: Eren going through a huge breakdown after breaking up with his girlfriend Annie and ending his friendship with Armin over her. Having an unexpected visit from his old friend Rivaille who'd eventually fall in love with Eren's sister Mikasa and help her get over her feelings for her adoptive brother. But their relationship will meet some difficulties in the future.
1. If only it wasn't real

**A/N: ****_Yo, this fanfic is going to have multi chapters, it is honestly based on a one shot fanfic I wrote before but it just wasn't enough and it needed more details, RivaMika is my SNK OTP, and since EreAnnie serves my OTP I love it as well. Hope you enjoy this, the first chapter is mostly about EreAnnie XD so the next chapter will focus more on RivaMika. _**

* * *

The sun was making its way down to hide, the thin red shining lines blowing out of it drawing their way separated. A shred of a tear glistened through its way falling to the ground, another one followed it instantly, and so did another… Was that rain? No, a whining sound confirmed those were tears. Tears flooding out of the big yellow eyes under those thick brown eyebrows. They were suddenly covered behind the sleeve that reached up to wipe the tears off, rested there for a while. But the damn tears found their way down again, slipping from under his sleeve. It was hard to hold back, nearly impossible not to cry… Humans are such weak creatures no matter how strong they were, they can never handle a huge loss. They can never be strong after losing what was making them strong… their lovers.

"W-Wait…" Struggling to stand up, Eren placed his hand on his knee, forcing himself up. "D-Don't go!" His voice was trembling , his legs shuddered to make few steps forward seeing that running was quite hopeless in his state, bruises all over his body, his clothes all messed up. Had he been into a fight?

"A-Annie…" He called out but his voice wasn't loud enough to reach her, his heavy legs wouldn't carry him to her, it was too late, she was already out of his sight and it hurt him so much, to find his heart stabbed with a stick made of lies, bleeding unstoppable regrets of trusting people. The pain was major it weakened him, made him fall on his knees once more, made him collapse to the ground.

* * *

When he opened his eyes again, he was slightly bothered by the light and closed them again. His body was sore and it pained him to move a single muscle, he felt a warm material beneath him and another one covering him. The nostalgic scent that reached his nose made him recognize the place before opening his eyes again to confirm it, he was home. He wouldn't know for how long he's been asleep, glimpsing at the window on his right, it was already dark. How'd he come here? He didn't have the slightest idea. He was in a place where no one would pass by, how come someone found him and took him home?

"You awake?" He heard footsteps and a calm voice talking to him. Ah! It was Mikasa, he whimpered in pain as he turned his head to stare up at her. "Mikasa! Wh-…"

"Reiner left a while ago, he said… he found you collapsed in some old street… covered in bruises, whom did you fight with?" The girl had a dreadful glare steered at him, she was ready to fuck whoever Eren fought up. She placed a bowl of chicken soup on the nightstand near the bed and sat next to him on the bed. She had his bruises wiped with alcohol and taped with gauze. She was planning on waking him up anyway so he could eat something. But he was already awake.

—-

She got back home late today since she had dinner with Sasha and Connie, exhausted. She took off her coat and placed it down on the couch, Eren had told her earlier he would be back home late so she didn't bother to call him. She loosed her hair and ran her hand through it. It'd be better if she took a shower. She walked after taking off her shoes, undoing her blouse's buttons while walking to the bath. She stretched as she walked in, opening the hot water to fill the tub. Her nails scratched the back of her neck after pulling her scarf off and hanging it on the door. She let her blouse slip down the soft skin of her arms and back, falling to the ground, unzipping her skirt and pulling it down in an instant, exposing her long legs.

Mikasa was a beautiful young woman and she knew it, she was told that often since her young ages, her partner Jean always told her how much he loved her dark shiny flowing locks, and how much disappointed he was when she cut her hair in the next day.

Getting rid of her underwear, she stepped in the tub and poured soap in it, bubbles starting to form. Mikasa wasn't the kind of girls to get flattered by people's compliments, she was withdrawn, lonely. Never tried to open up for people, not even to her adoptive brother Eren, he always gets irritated by her overprotective person around him. Always worried about him, always keeping him near her, she wouldn't leave him out of her sight unless he was with Annie, yes, she could trust Annie. They were always going to the gym together, not to mention they were attending the same karate lessons since two years ago, Mikasa could trust Annie to take care of Eren, she admitted that Annie was a tough girl who'd beat anyone's ass if it had something to do with Eren. Annie was strong… Annie was the girl Eren loved.

Mikasa clicked her tongue and murmured curses into the water, her breaths forming bubbles around. Despite the big nose Annie had, Eren always saw her as the most beautiful girl and Mikasa wished he'd have seen that in her too, at times she would feel jealous when seeing him with her, she would feel like punching her so hard in the face that her nose would go flat. But all her grudges fade away when Eren smiles, when Eren is happy… his happiness meant everything to her, even if it had to be with another girl, Mikasa was ready to sacrifice the feelings that grow inside her heart all these years she's passed with him, only to see him smile. And today Eren told her he had a date with Annie, she wouldn't bother him with a phone call just because of her concern about him and mess up his date.

Her hair was getting moist, and her eyes were getting heavy, she leaned against the tub and closed the tap, lifting her legs up to rest her feet on the other end of the tub. She wouldn't mind taking a nap now, ah! For a second she regretted not having her phone near by so she could play some music. But then, the fucking bell had to ring. And she knew she had to end her shower, it was probably not Eren since he has the apartment's keys with him. Drowsily, Mikasa pulled herself out of the -still hot- water and took a towel, wrapping it around her body. She walked out of the bathroom, leaving wet spots on the ground. She had a small glimpse through the door's aperture before opening it, Reiner was there carrying Eren on his shoulder, Mikasa panicked seeing the blood on Eren's lips, the bruises covering his body, his clothes almost ripped. Reiner's face turned bloody red seeing Mikasa in a towel, but that was the last thing she would give a fuck about, She took Eren from Reiner and walked him inside. "What the hell happened to him? Where was he?" Mikasa questioned.

"…" Reiner took few moments to step in and close the door before answering her question. "I found him like this in the middle of an old street… Apparently he got into a fight."

Mikasa walked her way to Eren's room, dragging his body with her and laying him on the bed. "Eren." Her hand shook him a little but he wouldn't wake up. "Let him sleep, he must be tired." Reiner suggested, she glared up at him. "Uhm! Well… Bertholdt is waiting for me.. so I think I should take my leave now…"

"You know the way to the door." Coldly said the girl, he frowned at her rudeness and walked out.

—-

Mikasa slipped her hand beneath Eren, helping him to sit up as she fixed the pillows behind him. He nagged in pain. God, it felt like his bones were broken. Mikasa lifted the bowl off the nightstand and held it out to Eren.

"Drink this soup, it should help you feel better."Still waiting for the answer to her earlier question, she handed him the bowl carefully as his hands fluttered reaching out to it, avoiding any kind of eye contact with her. Eren knew Mikasa way too well that he knows if she ever finds out about what happened to him, she'd maybe get things worse, and get into a fight he doesn't want her to be involved in.

"Thanks, Mikasa." He held the bowl in his shaky hands and brought it slowly closer to his mouth. "It's still hot, make sure not to burn your tongue." She warned him, he nodded and gave her a nervous smile. "What happened with your date with Annie?" She asked suspiciously. Mikasa could tell when Eren is hiding something from her, it angered her, the furious glare she was making only had Eren hesitant even more than before. "Well, I can simply call her and ask. And you know how it would turn out if you're hiding something from me…" She threatened.

"Don't…" He gulped, placing the bowl down again. Eren had no idea how to start this… How is he going to tell her about what happened to him? He didn't even want to remember it himself, it was too painful.

"Are you gonna tell me or?.."

"Fine…" He frowned at her, taking in a deep breath before finally being able to talk. "A-Annie and I… W-We broke up.."

"What?…" Mikasa's glare faded away instantly after hearing Eren's words. Her expression now was more like… shocked.

"And… I had a fight with Armin…"

"Over what?"

"Not over 'what'… Over who…" He corrected her, his eyes darkening as he glanced down. It was all clear when he said that, yet it was unbelievable.

"A-Armin… had feelings for Annie… Since long ago… And.. Apparently they were together… Without me knowing."

What the hell was Eren talking about? There was no way Armin would do that, he's been friends with him since they were kids, they've been together all the time, they've known each other so well, a girl would never be the reason to end their friendship… Not like this… But he wasn't lying, his tears weren't lying, that sad, broken expression he had on his face wasn't lying, the way he clenched his fists and tightened his grip around the sheets wasn't lying.

"I feel.. betrayed…" His words pierced Mikasa's heart, her lips parted in a try to say something… to try comforting him with at least one word, but she couldn't, what was she supposed to say? A word can never heal a broken heart, a word can never fix a fake friendship, a word would never be enough. Her lips pressed against one another again, all the sacrifices she made to make Eren happy were in vain, despite how jealous she was of Annie, she trusted her. God, just how dumb was that? How could she think that she could rely on someone else to build Eren's happiness, how could she rely on humans after all what happened to her in the past? It angered her, awakened the side she always kept in doze, the side of her that would go maelstrom, damaging whoever attempts to harm her and Eren, just like a mother defending her child.

"I don't.. I don't even know… I'm lost." He was suddenly pulled into an embrace, his face buried to Mikasa's chest, her fingers threading in his hair and caressing it, she hugged him a bit too much that he couldn't breathe. "Mmmfmmfhm." He pushed away from her gasping for air, his cheeks flushing. "M-Mikasa! I don't recall you had big breasts last time we hugged." Ah! There he goes with his perverted talk again, he's never gonna change, is he? Mikasa's eyes narrowed at him as her fists clenched sending him a hard punch in the face. "Last time we hugged we were like 12, Eren." Eren held his cheek in his hand, sobbing in pain. "Jeez, apparently your breasts aren't the only thing that grew strong." And there he received another punch on his other cheek. "What a perv.." She stood up and took the bowl in her hands, leaving the room. "Go take a shower, you stink." She ordered him.

"Would you mind giving me a little help? It'd be hard for me to scrub my back you know…" He didn't know how or when, but her shoes flew in the air and hit his head making him feel dizzy a bit. "Move your ass, Eren." Her voice sending shivers all over his body, Eren quickly kicked his ass to the shower, he feared Mikasa when she goes mad, yet enjoyed teasing her, it was fun.

* * *

"A-Annie, I'm fine really." Armin waved his hands in front of her as he explained, but Annie insisted to clean his wounds. It'd be alot better if he went to a clinic though. But he refused, claiming he was fine. "Does it hurt?" Annie asked as she looked at his leg, the contusion turning dark blue. He shook his head with a nervous smile, obviously lying. She teasingly pressed her finger against it and he hissed in pain. "You should rest. Sleep." She suggested.

"I should really go now though, it's getting late."

"You're staying here."

They were both interrupted by Reiner who walked up to them holding pizza plates in his hands. "Who wants some pizza?" Followed by Bertholdt who brought some drinks.

"Oh! I see you guys are back."

"W-Where's Eren?" Armin asked quietly, they were all taken by a silent moment before Reiner answered. "He's with Mikasa… Don't worry."

—-

With the nightfall, Annie finally reached her place with Armin laying on her shoulder unable to walk. Reiner opened the door on his way out to buy something for dinner with Bertholdt. All four met at the entrance.

"Annie? What happened?" Asked Bertholdt with a worried tone, as Reiner took Armin in his arms and carried him inside. Annie stood still at the door, glancing down. It was all feeling so wrong, the spiny guilt gashing her chest, the tears breaking through her eyes. Bertholdt knew Annie wouldn't cry unless it had something to do with Eren, he knew how much Annie loved him and how she would always wait for his call impatiently every night, how she would smile to herself for the rest of the day and act nice to him and Reiner when she gets home after a date with him. Not only he could make her happy, but also make her cry, Bertholdt got a quick flashback of the night where Annie talked to him for the first time, telling him she had a fight with Eren, she was afraid that he'd leave her. But then she was relieved again by his phone call, when he apologized to her and told her to forget about what happened.

It wasn't that hard for Bertholdt to tell the problem now is with Eren as well. So he gently rested his hand on her shoulder and pulled her inside, closing the door. "What happened, Annie?"

She refused to answer. "You had a fight with Eren, didn't you?" He insisted.

"Is it… that obvious?" She frowned. "Is it that obvious… How much it affects me when it has something to do with him? Is it clear enough that he means alot to me?… That.. I love him…"

Reiner, after having Armin resting in his bedroom, walked back to Annie. "Is Eren okay? Armin said he had a fight with him, where is he?" If Armin looked that horrible, then he must've been in a serious fight with the boy, and Eren's state won't be any better than his.

"The old street… Where we used to play football when we were kids…" Annie informed him, holding back her tears.

"Bert, let's go see if he's fine. Annie, you stay with Armin."

—-

"I'm not hungry." Annie shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the room, leaving the boys alone. Seeing Annie like that… depressed, kinda made them lose their appetite.

"It's serious, isn't it?" Reiner wondered. "S-She… broke up with him." Armin informed.

Broke up with him? With Eren? That was a huge surprise, to think that their relationship was the most successful one besides Sasha and Connie's. Sure those two had arguments, but it never got them to breakup, they were perfect with eachother.

"H-How exactly?… Why would she even?" Reiner cocked an eyebrow at the blond boy. Bertholdt already guessed it had went this far from the impression Annie gave him earlier so he simply sighed and shook his head.

"It was all my fault… I should have told Eren earlier…" The boy clicked his tongue, rubbing his eyes to avoid crying, not that it helped stop the tears anyway.

* * *

"Fuck, this mountain is way too high… At this rate I'll never reach the top before the nightfall." Eren complained as he kept walking his way, if it wasn't for the sunlight to block his sight, causing him to trip and fall. "Shit.. No!" Rolling down on the ground till he hit his head against a rock. "Ahh!"

Well, actually, that was only him falling off his bed and hitting the floor, waking up of his dream and opening his eyes at Mikasa's legs, who was standing there after pulling the curtains. "Let this room see the sunlight for god's sake." She glared down at him, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Goddammit Mikasa, I was still asleep." Eren said as he sat up, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, not anymore."

It was already morning, Eren still felt sore, but he could walk properly at least. "Your breakfast is ready, I'm going out with Sasha for shopping, I'll be back home around 11." She was already dressed up and ready to leave, he found it strange that she didn't bother to talk to him about yesterday, about what happened with Armin and Annie, she was acting so normal as if nothing happened.

"O-okay!" He shrugged his shoulders and sat on his bed.

"Wanna come with us?"

"Why would I go with you? Do I look that gay to you?"

"How's going out with me gay?" She felt a bit offended.

"You're probably gonna buy some underwear and bras…" Before he could even finish he got kicked in the stomach. "That's all you think about you perv.. Tch!"

She simply walked off and left home, Eren lied down on his bed still, holding his stomach in pain, even though what was actually hurting him was his heart. "If only... It wasn't real." He wished it was just a nightmare… that it never actually happened, but the dark spots on his arms and legs were proving the opposite. Eren looked up at the ceiling. God, his room felt so empty, or was it him?

He wanted to go back to sleep, not knowing what else to do. But then he got a phone call, his eyes looked around for his cellphone, there it was on the nightstand, he stretched his hand a bit and brought the phone to his hold, checking the screen. "H-Huh?" He answered the call.

"H-hello?…" Eren answered with a rather insecure tone.

"Yo! Eren." A familiar voice called his name.

"Rivaille? Is that really you?" Not able to hide his surprise, Eren sat up quickly, giving more attention to the call now.

"Tch, did you erase my number already?" He spoke with a disappointed tone.

"No! Of course not," He reassured him. "It's just… It's been a while since we talked hasn't it?"

"It sure has." He agreed.

"So, what are you calling me for?"

"I just got off the plane, I was wondering if you could probably welcome me at your place for a while." A smirk came across his face, he was in the airport sitting with his legs crossed, as his friend Hanji walked up to him with a cup of coffee.

"Gah! Rivaille, this coffee is really good." She jumped sitting next to him as she handed him his cup.

"W-Wait? You're here? In our town? Are you serious?" Eren grinned happily.

"Mhm… I'll take that as a yes, now move your ass and come here, I'm in the airport. I believe you're still in your bed as much as I know of you."

Eren shivered slightly and jumped off his bed. "No, I'm not."

"You just stepped out of it, didn't you?"

"Stop creeping me out, I'm coming."

"Make it quick." He hung up.

Eren smiled after the call ended, it's been so long since he saw Rivaille, a real good old friend of his, he just had to go back to his home outside the country, and that was when Eren last saw him, they were calling eachother from time to time, but that lasted for about two months only, they just became so busy with work… life in general. And now Rivaille had thought of paying Eren a visit. A visit that would probably be full of surprises, unexpected incidents… It's all about time to bring them up.

-To be continued-


	2. If only you could see

**A/N: **Thanks for the review and the follows guys, I apologize for not updating this earlier because I got busy with tests and exams, it was honestly almost done, and I stayed up tonight so I could finish it. I haven't revised it yet so it might have some spelling mistakes, I apologize in advance about that enjoy and let me know your thoughts.

* * *

"I always... Always loved you, Eren." Her back was exposed to the room's warm air as she straightened it while sitting up on the bed, the gloomy tears rolling miserably down her flushed cheeks while she spoke those words in the most broken voice she'd ever speak in.  
"If only... You could see that." His hand reached up to touch her rosy cheeks gently, slowly making its way to rest on the back of her head, fingers tangling in her silky hair before she got pulled down for a kiss, driving her into what seemed like an everlasting mixture of painful silence and godforsaken lust plumping the pleasure into their wretched souls. That night was for them to make up for the lost time, that night was for them to fix their broken hearts and bring the pieces together again.

* * *

~~Earlier that day~~

Eren was driving his way to the airport, excited at the thought of having his old friend staying at his place, he had so many ideas and plans to do with him, he was waiting patiently to meet him again so they could finally spend time with each other once more. God, those good times when they both were sharing that small apartment; how funny it was having Rivaille waking up so early in the morning and making breakfast, cleaning the whole place countless times a day. How Eren always nagged him with his listlessness. He was such a brat, a nice one though.

Rivaille presumed that Eren would never change those rotten habits of his, _such a negligent brat,_ Rivaille thought to himself, recalling all those memories he had spent with the boy. How he would come back home and scatter his clothes around on the floor Rivaille had just finished scrubbing. He'd shout at him and oblige him to clean everything up. It would be funny to go through all that again, probably Eren is more reckless now than he was before.

"Oi! Rivaille." Hanji's voice whipped those memories out f his mind when she called him, god! He almost forgot she was sitting right next to him.

"What is it, Hanji?" He spoke with an irritated tone.

"Do you think they have 'Titans biscuit' here? I just finished eating the one I brought with me and I wanna eat more."

"Oh! Not sure, I just know that I ain't giving fucks about that for free." Callously said the man.

"You're mean." She frowned at his rudeness. "Petra is lucky, she's the only one who can see your good side."

"Heh! If that's what you think." Rivaille smirked at her words and shook his head. Ah! Good thing Hanji mentioned her name, he had forgotten to text his fiancée and tell her he finally got off the plane.

"Rivaille." At the moment he pulled out his cellphone, Eren's voice stole his attention. "There you are." Panting, the boy rested his hands on his knees trying to catch his breaths quickly before straightening his back again and walking forward towards his friend.

"You sure took your time." Said Rivaille while standing up and walking to Eren, amused at the sight of the boy pouting at his words and crossing his arms.

"Good to see you too." Eren glanced away, avoiding Rivaille's gaze.

Rivaille let out a sigh helplessly and gazed up at the boy, before he could say a word, Hanji jumped in between them. "Rivaille!" Excitedly, she screamed. "Is this your friend? Awww! Look how cute he is with that pout." She poked his nose and pinched his cheeks.

Eren stood there blankly, _what the hell? Who the heck is this creepy woman? She's a woman, right? _He shivered at his own doubt and his eyes slightly glimpsed at her chest. _Her chest is way too flat to be a woman's... Or is it 'His' chest?_ "Agh!" Eren suddenly got a kick in the stomach out of nowhere and fell on his knees. Oh! That was actually Rivaille who kicked him.

"Your eyes need some discipline lessons apparently, may I teach them were and were not to look?" Rivaille glared down at the boy who freaked out.

"Rivaille! Why did you do that?" Hanji complained, -totally ignorant about Eren checking her chest size- and bent over to help the boy up.

"Tch! Weirdos." Rivaille mumbled under his breaths and walked ahead of the two, dragging his valise with him. "Let's not waste more time, I'm tired." He spoke with an exhausted tone.

"O-oi! Rivaille, wait for us." Hanji called out for him as she brought her valise quickly and rushed to catch up with him, while Eren in the background staring at the two dumbfounded. _I have a strange feeling... This visit won't end up well. _He thought to himself before coming back to his senses and running after Rivaille and his creepy friend.

* * *

Eren closed the trunk once they put their valises in, getting in the car ready to take off. "By the way, I didn't know her... His n-... Your name?" Eren asked, still clueless whether Hanji was a woman or a guy.

"Her name is Hanji." Rivaille seemed to notice Eren's confusion and corrected him without disclosing him.

"It's nice to meet you Eren, Rivaille told me alot about you, I was so excited about meeting you." Hanji grinned at the boy who seemed a bit nervous.

"Ah! Nice to meet you as well." Said Eren hesitantly. _Not sure if it is nice though. _"But, Rivaille... You never told me you're bringing your friend with you." _God, where am I supposed to let her stay now? Mikasa never liked sharing her room with anyone._

"She's not staying with me." Rivaille stated, crossing his legs and spreading his arms on each side of the back seat.

"My husband has arrived here two days earlier, I had some work to take care of so I couldn't come with him." Hanji explained.

"So, does that mean you guys came here for work? And not to actually see me?" Eren said in a disappointed tone.

"Not really, Hanji is here for work, I'm on vacation." Rivaille reassured him, slowly seeing his frown fading away.

"Well, who wants some ice cream?" Eren suggested, smiling in relief.

* * *

Dark, it was a dark, stuffed, tiny room, no space to move, no air to breathe. Not even speaking was allowed, a single noise would ruin it all. Mikasa covered her mouth with her palm, hands shaking, eyes tearing up, heart racing.

"E-Eren! Stop." A giggle came along with those words, the short blonde girl trailing her fingers down his chest with a slight redness on her cheeks.

"If you actually... wanted me to stop... You'd have already kicked my ass." His warm breaths let out those words against the soft skin of her neck, sending shivers down her spine. Smoothly, he unzipped her cyber grape sweater and gently, took it off of her, making its to the ground. In an instant, Eren found himself pushed down on the bed.

She loosened her golden silky hair, letting it fall on each side of her shoulders, her knees rested on the bed and with a small shake, she removed her high heels and crawled up on the bed, making his legs a comfortable seat for her to sit on seductively with her own legs spread on each of his sides. That sight granted Eren a slight arousal. Vulnerably reaching his hand for a nonchalant touch of the malleable skin of hers. Not giving her a opening

to take the lead, Eren flipped over, pinning her down beneath him.

She was _grievously_ beautiful to the point where Eren found himself forcing a destructive kiss on her, to indirectly let her know he was going to take the lead this time, he will show her that he wasn't a loser like she had called him many times before. Gradually moving lower to her neck, giving it a light lick.

"Ah! E-Eren… Wait!" Unable of holding a moan from escaping her lips, she pulled Eren away, just enough to look at his face, "What if Mikasa…."

"She won't be here," Before she could finish her phrase, Eren answered her question, knowing what she was aiming at. "Do you think I'd bring you home to have a little 'game' with you while she's home?" His words set her mind at rest, and at the realization of them being alone, Annie wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him for another , long, passionate kiss.

**Ouch, **it hurts… The words Eren just spoke hurt so much. Mikasa already knew she was bothering Eren with her presence, but to hear him saying it… To hear him telling those words to Annie, to her opponent. It pierced her heart, broke it into pieces, the damage those words caused, the pain she felt in her chest, it weakened her so much, tears were flooding out of her eyes. Forcing herself to keep quiet, to not make a sound and ruin the whole thing. She had told Eren earlier that she will be coming back home late, she knows perfectly that Eren isn't the kind of boys who'd stay at home and he'd rather go out with friends, Mikasa wanted to take advantage of that and go buy him a birthday present, she even bought some elements to make him a cake, she wanted to surprise him, she's usually not the kind of girls who'd skip their job for such reasons, but for Eren she'd do anything. It was when she got back home from shopping, she decided to check Eren's room, knowing him, he usually leaves his clothes randomly on the floor, his bed messed up. It was strange to find the room clean, since when does Eren clean? Mikasa wondered to herself and about to make her to the door.

Surprisingly she heard Eren's voice in the living room, _fuck. _Her plan would be ruined if he finds out she was there, the closet was the nearest conceal to her and she immediately got inside it.

But now she's regretting it, regretting it so bad.

_I should have faced him when I heard him coming, __none of this would happen if I did so. _She blamed herself so fucking much, disgusted at the sight of Eren in one bed with Annie, disgusted at the sight of Eren in one bed with Annie, their clothes being removed till they wore nothing but skin. She closed her eyes instantly, she'd go blind if she'd see more than that, but their fucking moans…. No matter how hard she'd press her hands against her ears, their voices were too loud.

-  
"Mikasa!" Mikasa's mind was brought back to the present time where she was sitting at a coffee after hearing Sasha's voice calling her name. "Here I got you a hot cup of coffee." Sasha grinned at her friend, placing the cup down on the table in front of Mikasa before taking a seat with her. "Do you feel any better?" Sasha asked, sipping her coffee.

"Am I supposed to?" Mikasa said, her voice felt rather… empty, her dead expression made Sasha frown, she reached her hand to Mikasa's and held it softly.

"You shouldn't feel this bad you know, you must be strong for Eren's sake. He'll only feel worse if he sees you like this." Sasha spoke brightly in a try to cheer the girl up. Mikasa would only stare up at the girl sitting in front of her, Sasha was right, Mikasa shouldn't be the one feeling sad, but she couldn't help. Seeing Eren depressed affects her way too much, she couldn't even pretend she was fine.

"I'll try…." Mikasa sighed and took the cup in her hands, finally sipping her coffee.

"Think of it in a positive way, at times like this, Eren might realize that you're the only one he would always find by his side… That actually might open his eyes to the truth… He'd most likely appreciate what you've done for him all this time, and finally be able to cherish your feelings for him." Sasha was obviously going too far with this encouragement, but she hated seeing Mikasa down that she'd say anything to make her feel better. "And it might be a chance for you… To confess to him, he wouldn't reject you, I'm sure."

"Sasha!" _Enough, I don't want it to be like this, I don't want to be a replacement, I don't want to be used to fill the empty place in Eren's heart, I never wanted it that way…. I just… _"I just want him to be happy." Mikasa stated and Sasha could only frown again, placing her coffee down on the table, she lost her appetite seeing her friend in that state.

"I know, Mikasa. I'm pretty sure everyone knows that… Everyone but Eren."

"He knows what he has to know… That's enough." Mikasa slammed the table and got up, taking her handbag with her before walking back to the car. "Let's go…"

"Uh!... O-okay!" Sasha didn't waste a second, she quickly followed Mikasa to the car and got in, she knew she probably had pushed Mikasa to her limits so she didn't say a word.

* * *

"A-Annie..!" Eren called the girl's name while stepping out of the car. _What is she doing here? Why is she standing at the apartment's entrance? Why did she turn away when she saw me coming? _Eren questioned himself once his feet touched the ground, he ran towards the girl.

He had drove Hanji to the hotel where her husband Erwin was staying at, after that Eren headed back home with his friend Rivaille, they stopped by a restaurant to have lunch, finally able to chat without Hanji interrupting them. Once they were full, they decided to continue their way back home, However, Eren never expected to see her there.

"Annie…. I'm talking to you." Eren shouted, walking more rapidly to her before she could get away. He gripped her wrist forcefully, making sure she wouldn't break free. "Look at me." But she refused to, she simply grabbed his arm and flipped him over , letting him fall to the ground, she continued her way silently.

"Oho! That's a tough girl." Rivaille smirked as he stepped out of the car, amused at the sight of Eren being beaten up by a girl who's even shorter than him. He then walked over to him, lending him a hand to help him up. "So, is that her?" Eren had told Rivaille about Annie when having their lunch, and according to the description he gave him earlier, Rivaille could tell it was her.

"Where do you think you're going?" Uh oh! It happens that Mikasa got there when Annie was leaving and most likely she saw what just happened. She blocked Annie's way, her arms crossed against her chest while she stood there, aiming her fatal glares at the girl.

"It'd be better if you stay out of this, Mikasa… It doesn't concern you." Annie paused, her gaze as sharp as Mikasa's, her words threatening the brunette with a slight teasing smirk.

"Eren concerns me, darling. Do I really have to remind you with this?" Mikasa spoke in return, making few steps forward.

"Eren isn't your pet you know. He could deal with his problems without you getting in the way." Ah! She hit the sensitive spot.

"You wanna say that again, bitch?" She would handle hearing Eren saying it, it would never bother her the same way it did when Annie said it. _This bitch doesn't even have the right to come here and yet, just what the hell does she want? Didn't she have enough already? Didn't she cause enough damage for both me and Eren?_

"Now who's that?" Rivaille wondered while holding Eren up, _would this day get any weirder? __  
_

"M-Mikasa…!" Eren panicked at the sight, god this won't be good. Before any fight would start, Eren pulled away from Rivaille and ran to his sister.

Mikasa? Isn't she Eren's adoptive sister? Rivaille could recall a time when Eren had shown him a picture of him with her, they were so young though, however Rivaille thought she was cute. But look at her now, 'cute' wasn't almost certainly the proper way to portray her. She had a dark, short, glossy hair –Rivaille could tell she had it cut since her hair was quite longer in that picture he saw- Her figure was in a quite attractive shape, her facial expression somewhat bloodcurdling yet delightful. _Awfully breathtaking.  
_She grew up to become this tough creature , Eren was a damn lucky guy to have such a girl by his side. However, the air was starting to get strange when people gathered around the girls, everyone was waiting for an exciting fight with clothes being ripped apart, yes indeed, most of the guys in there had these dirty thoughts running through their minds the whole time and this would probably be the chance for them to have a blissful sight.  
But the fight didn't last for more than two minutes, when Mikasa was about to kick Annie, Rivaille interrupted . Blocking her kick with his elbow. There was a dark aura going on between the two for a silent moment, Eren gulped, knowing Mikasa; she despised it when someone gets in her way and most likely would go rage mode on them. Rivaille wouldn't expect less from her, he saw enough to tell the girl would finish anyone who'd block her way, but he didn't really care, he focused more on ending the fight before it even begins. "Show's over, how about you move your asses back to your seats and watch some porn cause you ain't gonna see it here." Coming to the realization that she was wearing a skirt, Mikasa put her leg back down and glared away.

"M-Mikasa… It's alright now, there's no need to fight." Eren struggled to pull Mikasa out of the crowd and drag her to the sidewalk. Annie was already walking away from them. Not even bothering to look at them or say a single word. Eren could only watch her as she ran away from him, he would go after her, hug her tightly and ask her to stay, to forget about it all and get back to him. But he couldn't, his legs wouldn't move, his voice wouldn't come out and call her name, his grip would never be that tight to hold her… It felt like there was no hope for them anymore, he never felt this far from her.

On the other hand, while Eren's eyes were following Annie, Mikasa's were locked on Eren's. _Why is he looking at her like that? Why does he always look at her like that? Why does he only look at her like that? Is it going to get any harder for me? Will you ever look at me the same way you look at her? Will you even look at me? _Her hate growing wider, her jealousy taking over her mind, she couldn't handle the pain no more. Mikasa pulled away from Eren and walked back inside. "Just make sure to park the car in the garage." She passed the keys to him as she walked away.

_Just when I thought she was tough. _Rivaille thought to himself, his gaze fixed on Mikasa, the way she looked at Eren… The expression she was making while doing so, the voice she spoke in to him. _So fragile. _That's how she looked and he hated it, "Tch!" He clicked his tongue once she was out of his sight, glaring at the air. It wasn't of his business, nor did it concern him. Yet he felt outlandishly irritated, _a girl like her shouldn't be looking at a kid like….Him. _His eyes landed on Eren, _just what does she see in him but a stupid, reckless, irresponsible boy?_

"I'm sorry about that."Eren made his apology, his face leaking embarrassment. It was his voice that divested Rivaille's mind of the thought he was having. "I'll go get her car and park it, can you get my car in?" _  
_

"Sure." Rivaille wasn't intending to make it sound odder, shrugging his shoulders, he nodded his head and walked back to Eren's car.

* * *

The envy within her heart incredibly rising, tears slitting their way to come out. _Hold it… He shouldn't see you crying. _Mikasa walked quickly to the shower before Eren comes in.

"Mikasa!" She was already taking her shower when Eren and Rivaille arrived, she heard him calling her, but she pretended that she didn't. She was already having hard times keeping herself silent, letting one word out would make it harder for her to stop crying. Mikasa had tried so many times to convince herself that crying is useless, it was getting boring after Annie became Eren's girlfriend, and she wanted to quit this 'habit'. A rough girl like her shouldn't cry, Eren probably didn't deserve her tears either, the boy has never looked at her nor acknowledged her. Her pride wouldn't let her keep chasing after him.

_Easier said than done. _She smirked at her credulity and shook her head. _Since when was it that easy anyway? Nothing indeed was easy._

Tragically stolid, that's how everyone saw Mikasa, everyone except for Eren, because he doubtlessly never saw who she really was.

The only thing that Eren knew, was how fuming Mikasa would get when she finds out that Eren brought a guest with him to stay at their place for a while. So as to try avoiding getting in a deep shit with her, Eren had asked Rivaille to make dinner, Rivaille was a goo- No, a great cook, he remembered how Mikasa was complaining about how exhausting it was to do all the cleaning and cooking by her own and how Eren was being irresponsible, not giving her a hand at all.

_This should do._ Eren thought to himself as he watched Rivaille cooking, Mikasa had to finish her shower as fast as she could when the smell of fried onion reached her nose.

_I thought I told Eren to stay away from the kitchen! _ She thought as her gaze darkened, wrapping a towel around her body instantly before rushing out the bathroom and into the kitchen.

"Eren, didn't I t-…." A sudden breeze ran down her body before her heat increased, cheeks flushing, hands holding tight to the towel. _Who in the world is this man in my kitchen?_

"Yo!" Rivaille said with the calmest tone he could speak in, trying to make it less awkward, not that he never saw a girl in a towel, but he couldn't recall his first meeting with any girl was with her in a towel.

Eren suddenly jumped in front of Mikasa, "Mikasa….. This is my friend, Rivaille." He explained nervously. "Uhm! He's gonna stay over for a while so I hope you don't mind." He gulped and kept silent, waiting for her answer.

"It's like having one useless kid with me wasn't enough, now you're gonna bring your friends too?" Mikasa said with an –Are you fucking kidding me?- face.

"Rivaille isn't like me, I promise… Have I ever told you how much of a clean freak he is?" Eren giggled nervously before his head was hit by an onion from behind.

"How many times did I tell you, don't call me 'clean freak'... Brat!" Rivaille crossed his arms and glared at the boy.

"Excuse me, first you waste my precious onion and use it to cook whatever this stupid dish you're making was, I was gonna use it to make a special French onion soup ugh! and now you're throwing it at my brother?" Mikasa's glare was soon aimed at Rivaille as she pushed Eren aside.

"So now you're calling him your 'brother'. Also I'm French so I'm as special as your precious onion." Rivaille clicked his tongue, returning his cold glares at Mikasa.

"Mikasa it's ok-…" She wouldn't even let Eren finish a word, she pushed the boy aside once more and made her heavy steps forward. Rivaille settled down the knife he was using and turned around so he'd face her. The two stood opposite to eachother, their arms crossed against chest, their gazes locked with one another.

It was one beautiful, close view of her angry face. It was that dreadful glare she aimed at that blonde girl in the street, the same glare she was giving him now, and the same glare that had him attracted to her strong personality. And he couldn't waste such a great chance that would probably never happen again, to appreciate every single spot on her face, her dark, yet glistening eyes. Her wet, short, curly edged hair. Her small nose and her erotic pinkish lips. She was pleasant. Her warm breaths against his face were leaving a delightful scent that he could almost lick it, his tongue touched the inner edge of his bottom lip as it was slowly parting from his upper one, leaving his mouth half open. His sharp eyes were fixed now on her lips and they wouldn't move an inch away from them.

_Was he going to move forward? _Mikasa wondered, she was slightly taken by that moment that her glare faded away without realizing it, and soon was replaced by a soft, dreamy look. He was shorter than her indeed and she'd have have to lean down for him anyways. And as she did so, her spine vibrated in respond to a cold breeze she felt all over her body, but she was slightly warming up as her heat increased at the sudden realization of her nose brushing against Rivaille's, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment and- without a second thought, she had closed her eyes and tilted her head to the right, her lips parting slowly with each move forward they made, and at last her lips were brushing against his.

"You must be a virgin." But before that moment could last any longer, Rivaille broke the dead silence and whispered into her mouth with a teasing tone. His words were like a needle prickling her, she instantly backed away from him. Just what the hell was she doing? Was she really going to kiss a guy she had just met, and she didn't even remember what his name was? "Pardon?" She raised an eyebrow at his rudeness.

"I said; you must be a virgin." He repeated confidently.

"Excuse you, I'm not a virgin." Not sure if that would count, but she could recall that night when she got drunk with Jean and ended up with a ripped skirt and a broken heel, it was so random and they couldn't even get to his bed, and he tried so hard to balance himself while holding her against the wall and lifting her legs up, he couldn't even enter her perfectly, they were both so drunk and in the end they fell asleep on the ground. Of course in the next morning Mikasa slapped Jean enough of times so whenever he'd think about asking her out, he just wouldn't. "Why am I telling you this anyway?"

Eren was just standing there watching the whole show in amusement with a large smile on his face. "W-Wait... You're not a virgin?" Eren soon realized what she had just said. "But... I thought you said nothing happened with you and Jean that night."

"Who said it was Jean?" She defended herself.

"What? It wasn't Jean? Who was it then? Uh... Don't tell me it was Reiner..."

"No, it was Jean." She confirmed.

"You just said it wasn't Jean." He complained.

"No, I said 'Who said it was Jean.' I never denied it tho."

"What the fuck, Mikasa? Why would you sleep with that horse face? You know I'm always here."

There was a long silent moment after Eren said that, "I mean..." He tried to make it sound less awkward, but the words failed him.

"You were with Annie that night, Eren. On your first date with her, and I thought I should.. give you guys some space, so I went out with Jean, I never planned for it to end up that way tho. But things are never like we want them to be." Mikasa excused herself and left the kitchen, she went to her room and they could hear the door slamming hard. There she goes once more, with that pathetic look of hers whenever she spoke to Eren. Rivaille sighed and shook his head, Eren might have said that as a joke, because he never realized Mikasa's feelings for him, _what an idiot!_ Rivaille thought as he looked at Eren. _How could he be so blind?_ _How could he not see the way she looks at him?_

_This has got to change, and I'll gladly do it. _Rivaille nodded to himself, promising to get things going just the way they should be. No matter how hard it would be, no matter how much time it'd take. He was going to do it.

~To Be Continued~


	3. If only you could feel it

**A/N:** I can't believe I finally finished writing this chapter, it took forever goddammit thanks everyone for the follows and the reviews, please do let a review after reading this I would like to know your thoughts and maybe advises? Also this is kinda my first time writing smut, not really since I'm used to roleplaying it, but this is the first time I write it all by my own, my friend helped me a little but then I had to keep going by my own so yeah XD  
Anyway, have fun reading it, I'll go to sleep now cause it's late and I'm dead tired.

* * *

"Annie!" His voice was tumultuous. "Open the fucking door." Unstably treading to the door that seemed to get further with each step he made forward, the whole world rotating around him.

_"He's drunk" _A woman whispered to her husband as she sneaked through the window, it was late and they were bothered by the incessant shouting in the neighborhood.  
_  
He wasn't going home, not until he had seen her, not before she had answered his questions and disapproved all his doubts._

* * *

**Annie Leonhardt**.

Surely she wasn't the nicest person in the world, nor was she the social life girl. A simple life she had, she had lived and learned a lot during her childhood, regardless of the absence of mother love and her father being the only person she could trust and believe in. He had done a wonderful job, raising a little girl all by himself since the age of three, he had never thought his wife would dump him, abandon her child and husband for another man that ruined an almost happy family.

Annie hated her mother, probably more than anyone else. She'd always get hurt whenever people ask her about her mother and the reason why she left them, some kids were even calling her mother _a bitch. _They were right and she wouldn't argue, but to be told she'd grow up to become like her mother, that she had the whores' genes running in her blood, that she'd end up dumping the man she'd love for another was a stab to her own pride. She'd always beat up whoever insulted her and her mother. She always ended up in the principle office, with her father getting all the blame, that he did _not _raise his daughter properly, that he needed to discipline her and teach her how to gain a good attitude, how to respect people. But how could she respect them when they never respected her?

_You're a bitch, just like your mom._

_Hey! Annie, why do you have such a big nose?_

_I heard your mom left your father for another man, is it true?_

_Your mother probably was disgusted by you, nobody would love to have an ugly daughter._

Their voices wouldn't leave her alone, the world scared her, _hated _her. _Rejected her._

"Don't listen to them." Until one day he entered her life, his amiable voice rang in her ear "When people don't understand something, they hate it for no reason, thus they hate everything about it." The cordially uttered words drove her gazes up, if it wasn't for the stingy sun to hinder her sight, preventing her from having the slightest view of the boy's face.

"Annie, right?" His hand reached down to her, inviting her for a whole new world, a world she wondered whether she was ready to visit and before she could find an answer, her hand took his. "Eren, Eren Jaeger… Nice to meet you." He introduced himself to her, and likeably saved her from the cage she's been locked in for so long… _Loneliness._

_Eren, Eren Jaeger._

His name echoed in her ears everytime his picture flashed before her eyes. He was a friend; her first friend, the first person who accepted her just the way she was, and she was thankful to him. Through him, Annie encountered a new world, she learned and understood that the world didn't hate her but she was the one who hated it, she was unfair to it, _unfair to herself._

He was a close friend, her first close friend, he had invited her to join what little family he had, he welcomed her with open arms when she needed someone to go to, he comforted her, hugged her, protected her just as much as she protected him, their bond became stronger as ever, they grew up together, and so did their affection for one another.

He was her crush, her first crush, she wasn't aware of how attached she had become to him, but his presence would always make her happy, she'd smile like an idiot whenever he was there, she'd wait patiently to meet him again in the next day, until one day she realized she had fallen for him; it was somehow so clear and so easy to understand, when she felt her body's heat increasing, her heart racing and her gaze locked on his.

"A-Annie…" He had called her name over and over, noticing the way she was looking at him, his cheeks flushed with red when her hands rested on them, when she stood on her tippy toes and pulled the tall boy for a warm kiss, but she hadn't confessed to him, nor did she tell him what was that kiss for, she left before he could ask her. In fact she always leaves without giving him clear answers. Eren tried to go after her, to stop her and hold her hand, if she had confessed to him that day he'd have asked her out and probably be the one to initiate the kiss this time, but she didn't stop, instead she kicked him so hard and continued her way, she avoided him for a week until he finally told her to forget about it, and promised her to never ask her again, yet Eren started to get both bored and angry at her dishonesty with him and with herself.

Eren wasn't that patient kind of boys who'd simply sit and watch without trying to understand. Yes, girls are such mysterious creatures; he already knew that since he had met Mikasa when he was nine, she was probably the scariest girl he had ever met before knowing Annie, not to mention that ever since the two girls met, they started spending their time together and that was double the fear Eren used to feel.

"Oi! Armin," Eren once called for his friend during the break. "What would you do if you were me? You're the smart boy so you must know." He asked for his best friend's advice when he found himself incapable of figuring out a solution.

"Eren, just because I'm good with math doesn't mean I can solve relationship problems," Armin said with a nervous smile, "However, I do think that a payback would do?" He suggested.

"A payback?" Eren lifted his head off the table, listening to his friend.

"Mhm, I mean she kissed you without telling you why. And she probably doesn't understand what you're feeling now, if you do the same to her, she'd probably understand and maybe tell you…. That's only my opinion thou-" Eren suddenly jumped to his friend and glomped him. "E-Eh! Eren?"

"Armin, that's the smartest idea I ever heard, thank you. If this works, I will love you forever…." He grinned and let go of Armin so he could go and see the girl that stole his mind day and night. "Also I'll exempt you from doing my homework for a month." He added before he began running in excitement.

"Eren! Good luck!" Armin couldn't help but grin and wave at his friend.

After classes ended, Eren waited at the school entrance for her, praying for his friend's plan to work as expected, he was nervous and started wondering whether she felt this nervousness too before she kissed him or was it only him. Those minutes he had to wait for her appearance felt like hours of torture, but there she was passing by him with two of her classmates; Reiner and Bertholdt. Eren was about to walk towards her but he stopped at the sight of Bertholdt taking a hold of her hand. "Annie, can we talk for a moment?" The tall guy asked in an anxious tone.

"I'll be ahead of you guys." Reiner then excused himself and walked ahead, that's when Eren had suspected something going around between Annie and Bertholdt.

"Don't take so long." Annie stared up at him with her arms crossed.

"I-I know that you might not have an answer now but I-… Reiner encouraged me to do this and I'm not sure but…." He stuttered.

"Make it short." Annie ran her fingers through her hair and glared up at Bertholdt which got him more nervous. He gulped and closed his eyes, hands clenching into fists as he bowed his head down in front of her.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" As nervous as ever, Annie's eyes widened at the sudden question, but what actually shocked her was Eren who stood right opposite to her behind Bertholdt.

Eren instantly looked away from her and walked, he walked ahead and passed by her until she was behind him, he didn't say a word, nor did she, but her heart tried to call for his, she wished he'd respond to that call and come back, to push Bertholdt away and tell him that girl was his and no one's else. But why would he do that?

_Eren, Eren Jaeger._

Their first meeting flashed before her eyes when she turned around to see him walking away, Bertholdt straightened his back when he didn't get an answer, and perhaps he now knows why, he always knew her answer anyway, she always had her eyes on Eren and no one else, it was so stupid of him to think she'd be with him someday and return his feelings. "Annie…" Bertholdt murmured softly and smiled at her. "Go…"

Annie's eyes glistened with sorrow, she looked back at Bertholdt, just so he'd give her a sign that she should go after Eren and not waste her chance, he nodded his head and without waiting a single second, she was running after Eren; the boy she truly loved.

Despite the weakness she felt in her legs, and the tears that were fighting their way out of her eyes, despite her heavy breathing and losing her balance for a second and falling to the ground, she stood up again and kept running, she was ready today to confess her feelings for him, and she wouldn't let this chance escape her hold, she wasn't afraid no more, what would scare her this time was letting Eren go without telling him.

"Eren!" She almost let herself fall to the ground but instead she held onto him, hugged him from behind and stopped him, at least he wasn't going to leave and she was relieved. "Wait… I need to… Tell you something." She waited until her breaths became even again to let go of him. "I-…" But he didn't let her finish, he took her hands in his and pushed her to the wall behind her, they looked into eachother's eyes but neither said a word, they didn't have to after all, it was all written in their eyes. Eren loosened his grip around her hands and locked fingers with hers, forcing a kiss on her afterwards, not giving her a chance to breathe.

It was intense, passionate, soulful, Annie melted into the kiss, her hands trembling against his. All her worries got washed off when it started raining. It was so strange how that everlasting kiss kept her warm. But not long enough, Eren soon pulled back, he didn't even bother to look at her, he simply turned away and left.

Annie didn't know whether to rage or cry, whether to punch him or hold his hand. Either way, she couldn't move. Her legs gave up on holding her up still and she let herself fall on her knees, she could no longer stand, yet a smile came across her face, she knew exactly what Eren tried to do, and he most likely succeeded. She was now the one begging to get an answer from him."_What a jerk…" _She mumbled to herself and bursted out laughing.

* * *

"Eren, why are you crying?" A shade of dark gloomed her eyes as she asked severely, few steps separating her from the couch where Eren was sitting.

"M-Mikasa…" He adjusted his position and looked at her, his eyes were red probably because he cried for so long. "You didn't have your umbrella?" He noted that her clothes and hair were wet.

"I gave it to Annie, she looked more pathetic than I did to be honest." She placed her school bag on the ground and walked to him. "You didn't answer my question, why are you crying?" She insisted after seeing the change in his expression when she mentioned _Annie_.

"I'm not crying." He exclaimed, rubbing his eyes with his sleeves.

"Eren, you know you can tell me anything." Even though she was burning from inside, she made some effort to soften her tone while talking to him.

"Just leave me alone, why do you always butt in? I can take care of myself and solve my problems by my own." He shouted in anger.

"Since you're crying, obviously you can't do anything about it." She protested.

"Perhaps if you stay away from me I can think clearly."

"Eren, I just want to help." Mikasa spoke as calm as she could.

"If you do wanna help then leave. Or you know what? I'm leaving." He picked up his jacket and walked to the door.

"Then don't come back until you have solved your problem." Mikasa possibly said it in a serious way, and the only excuse she had for saying that was her immature jealousy of Annie, she was hurt and she hated Eren for one day, but the only person she should blame was herself, she can't blame a boy who isn't aware of her feelings for him. And she wasn't supposed to stalk Eren after Armin told her about his plan, for a second she had some hope when Eren walked away after seeing Bertholdt with Annie, but then the blonde girl ran after him, she was going to confess to him, they were going to be together. A part of her was thankful that Eren kissed Annie, at least she didn't make her confession, but the other part of her hated him for it, _she hated seeing him with another girl._

However, Eren took her statement as a challenge, and so he left for real. He came back that night to take some of his stuff and left again. He was lucky that he saved some money, he wasn't in the mood to stay at Armin's, so he spent that night in a hotel. However he couldn't sleep, he stayed up thinking over and over about ways to change himself, to build a better personality, a strong one. Perhaps buying or leasing an apartment and starting all over again would help? It was how he met Rivaille, of course their bond didn't start so well, Rivaille was a cleanfreak and he hated the thought of sharing an apartment with a boy like Eren, but he gave it a try and welcomed him, months later they became friends, close friends…

* * *

"This is such a beautiful night." For the time being, Eren was sitting with both Rivaille and Mikasa at the bridge, looking up at the stars.

"Shouldn't we go back home though?" Mikasa said, sitting on his right.

"Nah! We can even stay up all night watching the stars." Eren chuckled and ruffled her hair.

"Eren, I'm not mad anymore, stop trying to make it up to me." She added, knowing he only suggested to go out to make her feel better after what he had said to her.

"Say, Mikasa… Did he use a condom?" Eren asked out of the blue, still recalling what Mikasa said about her and Jean. And she clenched her fist and hit his head, he almost fell off but Rivaille pulled him back straight.

"Eren stop bringing this up for god's sake." She glared at him and that was enough for him to shut his mouth.

"Sorry," He exhaled and stretched a bit then jumped down. "Well, I just remembered I had something to do. So you guys have fun, I'll see you home." He excused himself and walked off.

"Eren, wait…" Mikasa was going to go after him when Rivaille held her hand and stopped her.

"Leave him," He said. "He wants to be alone for a while." He explained to her, maybe Rivaille knows him better than her after all, Mikasa slipped her hand out of his grip and rested it on her lap, looking away from Rivaille who took the chance of Eren's leave and moved to sit closer from her.

"Don't you think you deserve better than this… Than him?" Mikasa blinked at the sudden question and rose an eyebrow at him. "You know it too, don't look at me like that you won't scare me like you do to him." She then turned her gaze away from him.

"You're not a bad cook." She tried to change the subject of their talk, recalling how she enjoyed the dinner he made so far. "Actually you're a good cook… For a man."

"That was nothing." He smirked confidently, "I'm glad you enjoyed it though."

"Maybe you can teach me someday," Rivaille's eyes widened slightly in surprise after hearing her words.

"Sure," _My pleasure. _He said to himself.

"My mother died before she could teach me how to cook, so did my adoptive mother." She explained.

"I understand," He said in a comforting tone.

"Why did you… I mean… In the kitchen, why did you almost…" She stuttered to ask but he could already tell what was her question seeing how her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Kiss you? You wanted it so don't deny it." He answered simply with a calm, firm voice.

"I certainly didn't, what makes you think I did?" Her eyes narrowed at him.

"You didn't stop me." He left her speechless for a moment, he was right, she didn't stop him, he was even right when he said she wanted it. "Besides, I don't really see what are you complaining about, our lips did touch."

"They didn't… Not even a bit."

"You just don't wanna admit that you kissed me." He shrugged his shoulders and it only made her rage.

"That was definitely not a kiss, how can you even count it as one?" Mikasa slammed the rail with her fists and glared at the man next to her.

"Mikasa…" Before he could realize it, her lips were forcefully pressed against his. Her hands gripped tightly his collar and pulled him closer, it was a matter of seconds until their lips parted again. "Now that you can call a kiss." She whispered, resting her forehead against his.

"An unfair one if I may say." Rivaille whispered back and reached his hand behind her neck, only to bring her lips for another kiss, a longer and a passionate one that he had the urge to take it further but they weren't probably in the best place so he had to end it sadly.

"Wanna go back home… To continue?" And once again Rivaille widened his eyes in disbelief, this girl keeps surprising him, she was inviting him, she didn't want to stop and maybe she wanted just as much as he did.

"Are you sure?" Yet he had to make sure he wasn't forcing himself on her.

"Yes." Her answer was clear.

"Alright, if that's what you want."

On their way back home, Mikasa tried to call Eren, just to confirm whether he was still somewhere outside or not, but he didn't answer her call, which got her to think again about what Rivaille had told her earlier, that he might want to be alone and she had to stop worrying about him. She sighed and for at least once, she swore not to let Eren keep her mind busy, she had to live even for a short while... Just one night, with Eren out of her thinking.

The first thing Mikasa did after arriving at the apartment, was checking Eren's room, she let out a long sigh in relief. "Well, I guess... No need to turn the lights on." She said in an unsure tone while taking her jacket off and placing it on the couch in the living room then walking back to Rivaille.

Rivaille invited himself in the house, his eyes didn't bother looking around, instead, they kept following the figure of the woman who kissed him earlier. The burning lips that pressed against his, their softness and sweetness felt so amazing he could no longer wait to taste them again. Once she finished what it seemed to be checking around that no one was there to bother them, she turned his way and his heart skipped a beat as a wide smirk showed on his face. Here she is, finally coming to him, and finally he'll hold her in his arms like he always dreamed to. "Indeed, no need to... As long as you keep close so I can see you." He said in a teasing tone, his fingers reaching for her chin, lightly lifting it up to have a good look at her face in the dark.

Mikasa didn't seem annoyed at his words like she'd usually feel whenever Jean tried to use a pick-up line on her or flirt with her and she'd instantly punch or kick him. And she was surprised she'd feel this comfortable with a man she had met today, it was an undeniable tension that she felt towards him and her lips were already missing his. She leaned in closer to him while her hands reached to his shoulders. "I guess we're gonna be as close as ever..." She whispered in respond to what he said before planting a warm kiss on his lips.

Rivaille won't deny it, the way she spoke, the way she kissed, the way she smelled, he loved it all and every single bit of it. Without a second thought, he responded to the kiss by pressing his lips against hers after tilting his head slightly to the side, his hand running through her hair bringing her closer to feel more of her body against his. It was warm, lightly shivering, it excited him. He soon ran out of patience and slid his tongue in for a rough kiss, pressing his body against hers and pushing her against the nearest wall, then dominating the kiss like he never did. Their bodies temperature grew hotter, as well as their excitement.

Mikasa could feel it all growing inside her, the excitement she never thought any man would be able to give her, when everyone used to fear her and simply look up to her while she looked down to them, and perhaps that is what she was desperate for all the time, a man who can make her look up to him, who can make her feel he was stronger than her. That kiss sent a strange feeling down her spine, his tongue and the way he smoothly slid it in, the intense desire that awakened her urges. Mikasa took a tight hold of his collar and as much as his tongue fought to dominate the kiss, she fought back, her head tilting to the opposite side just so they could share a deeper and a wetter kiss, her eyes were closed as she let her sentiments take lead of her body.

The kiss turned into a rough, wet teasing game as soon as each of them started fighting for dominance. Rivaille's hand scrolled down to caress her neck, before landing on her chest, his body pressing against hers and his free hand already going under her shirt. He wasn't planning on taking it easy. He knew Eren might come anytime soon yet he didn't care, he was ready to take it to the next level with the girl he had this strong attraction for. "Sexy lips..." He whispered as he broke the kiss since they were both out of breath. His lips soon went lower to taste her neck, inhaling her scent and sucking her fresh skin's taste, leaving a clear mark on it.

It was such a unique experience she was having, and she understood that what she had experienced that night with Jean was nothing compared to this, she was even ready to count it as her first time ever. She gasped for air once their lips parted and before her breathing becomes even again, she felt the warmth of his lips against her neck, her cheeks flushed with red knowing this wouldn't end by just kissing, but may also take them even further. "Ah!" And thanks to him she had just found out about how sensitive her neck was. "W-wait..." She had to push him back, "Maybe... It'd be better if we... go to my room." She wasn't ready to take the risk of Eren walking on them, Rivaille was his friend anyway and he surely understands as well.

Hearing a moan escaping her lips made the excitement grow higher inside him. He wanted to take her right here, right now. "I can't wait much longer..." He said with a light frown, attacking her neck once again, and his hands sliding behind to squeeze her butt. such a soft feeling...He wished touching her forever.

She bit on her bottom lip preventing another moan from escaping her mouth, Mikasa tilted her head to the side giving him more room for her neck. her hands tugging on his shirt. she kept silent as hard as she could until she was finally at her limits, she needed to touch him too, she had to feel his body and share the moment with him. She soon started pushing him to her room's door until he hit it, reaching her hand to the the knob, Mikasa opened the door instantly and kept pushing him until they were finally inside her room, with a strong kick she closed the door and continued pushing him till they both fell on the bed, with her on top of him.

Rivaille smirked, he loved how pushy she was, how impatient she got the farther they got. Seeing her on top of him did nothing but excite him more. He licked his lips seductively as he whispered. "Hungry...?" He asked in a teasing tone, when he would say the same about himself, since he was the hungry one. His hands slid easily under her shirt to grab her breasts, the soft, sweet touch of her breasts in his hands was a unique feeling. As his lips were still covering up her neck with marks. His knee went to place in between her legs, pushing suddenly against her spot, wondering if she was getting wet yet.

At the time he was busy licking and sucking on her neck, Mikasa teased his ear with the tip of her tongue, licking his earlobe lightly before biting it gently and nibbling on it. Her hands slid down his shirt, finally feeling his warm skin and the tight muscles he was hiding underneath those clothes. She was turned on and her excitement only grew higher when his knee was finally touching her sensitive spot, "Mm.." She needed a more direct contact yet, she was impatient to test all these hot urges running through her, to go as far as they could go with it, until they both reach the fullest, until they can no longer move a bone, until they've used every last energy they got. Mikasa pulled her hands back and started undoing his buttons, she wanted to have a taste of his skin, touching him would never satisfy her. With all those little dirty thoughts she had, she was getting wet.

Rivaille's eyes watched the girl in amusement as she took care of his shirt's buttons, his hands rubbing her thighs from underneath her skirt, at last she got over her fears, _ignored_ them and decided to share this moment with him. It did escalate quickly and despite meeting each other only for today, he was glad she could be open to him, glad to see her already going this far, even though it wasn't love, it was doubtlessly an act of lust and need and he knew better than anyone else he was the only one to satisfy her. But he wasn't going to let her top him, he wasn't going to be easy on her, he understood more than anyone else that what Mikasa needed all the time was a man who could dominate her and that's what he was going to do. As soon as she had his shirt undone, Rivaille flipped over and pinned her hands above her head on the bed, holding her wrists in a tight, firm grip with only one of his hands as the other reached to lift up her shirt slowly. "I'm sure you enjoyed bossing people all your life, how about switching roles now?" He whispered against her neck and his breaths were sending shivers down her spine.

"Ah!... We both know how enjoyable it is to dominate people." Said Mikasa with a trembling voice, pressing her knee teasingly in between his legs just like he did to her. "But sometimes it gets boring." _Boring as fuck that your life seems meaningless. _"Ahh!" A moan escaped her mouth successfully when he had her bra unclasped and his tongue was playing with her left nipple but she soon prevented herself from letting out another moan and bit on her bottom lip. Her hands shaking against his in a desperate try to break free.

"How long are you gonna hold back?" He smirked and took her nipple in between his lips, nibbling on it gently, he noted how she was trying not to give him what he wanted, not to let him hear her screams and so it was like a challenge for him, her eyes were almost begging him but her lips wouldn't spit it out. Rivaille's hand slipped down her body smoothly, his fingers trailing her chest, torso, hips and finally reaching the edges of her skirt and pulling it down to her mid-thighs so he could finally run two of his fingers above her panties reaching the already wet area to press his finger against it, it was when she finally gave up and gasped in a respond to his touch.

"Bastard..." She gritted her teeth and let out few more sighs, heavy breaths and her hips began to move on their own to meet up with his fingers and double the pleasure she was receiving and her moans were becoming louder with each second that passed. Rivaille couldn't move his eyes off her face, loving all those expressions she was making beneath him, feeling her fluids all over his fingers that got sticky, he pulled her panties down and finally set her hands free but only so he could lift her legs up and spread them enough so he could position his head in between them.

"W-Wait... Ahhh!" Of course he didn't wait, and using the tip of his tongue, he teased and licked around her center, tasting the fluids that kept coming out of her. "N-No... I ca-..." Her hands held tightly onto the bedsheets when a huge wave of pleasure hit her all of a sudden, it almost got her going insane and her scream was as loud as ever. But Rivaille made sure she wouldn't reach her orgasm just yet, he still wanted to have fun teasing her, he wanted this moment to last for as long as possible and so he pulled his tongue back and sat up to throw his shirt off, his eyes watching the girl still regaining her breaths, how weak she looked and so different from earlier, yet she wasn't the Mikasa he saw while Eren being around her, no, this was a whole different Mikasa.

"Oi! Are you okay?" His tone softened just a bit while reaching his hand to her and pulling her up to him, taking her in a warm embrace and burying her face to his neck, he was rather gentle. "Do you wanna stop?" He asked in his most calm, soft tone he could speak in.

"N-No..." She pulled back from the hug and looked down with a shade of pink on her cheeks and he understood that she was perhaps feeling shy, wondering why would she feel shy when this wasn't her actual first time, _wasn't it? _But he didn't bother to ask her and helped her getting rid of her shirt instead. He wasn't going to let her regret her choice, not ever. Just to set down the fire that started inside her, he brought his lips closer to hers and stole a kiss from her, meanwhile undressing her from her bra before pushing her down on the bed again. Holding the kiss still, his hand caressed down her side, Rivaille soon felt relieved when her fingers tangled in his hair and deepened the kiss. Even more relieved when she flipped over and he was the one pinned down this time, but her lips soon pulled apart from his and he instantly opened his eyes when he felt a teardrop fell on his cheek.

"You probably think I'm such a _pathetic_ person, don't you?" Despite her grin, those words came out in a broken tone. "I wouldn't blame you, I am a pathetic person after all." She added and more tears were flooding out of her eyes. "I knew since the beginning that he never loved me and he wouldn't. And yet I kept chasing a fake hope, convincing myself with lies that even I could tell they would never come true... And maybe he was aware of my feelings all this time but simply didn't say anything because he didn't want to embarrass me." Rivaille only listened to her without saying anything in return, he wasn't going to tell her otherwise anyway, he just needed her to admit it, that was the only way to get over it and move on.

"Everytime I looked at him... I had this huge urge to look him straight in the eyes and tell him... I always... Always loved you, Eren." Her back was exposed to the room's warm air as she straightened it while sitting up on the bed, the gloomy tears rolling miserably down her flushed cheeks while she spoke those words in the most broken voice she'd ever speak in. "If only... You could see that."

_Enough said._

Rivaille reached his hand to the back of her head and stroked her hair before pulling her to him again, kissing her like he never did before. After all he had heard from her, he couldn't deny that he was so _proud_ of her. Once she calmed down he rolled over to top her once more, using his thumbs, he wiped the tears off her pinkish cheeks and sat up, when Mikasa noticed he was unzipping his pants she gulped and looked away from him. "W-When I said... I had sex with Jean... Well, I didn't really... We didn't go all the way... I didn't let him. I can barely remember what we did honestly, we were drunk..." She explained and he now knew why was she feeling all nervous earlier.

"Will you go all the way with me, Mikasa?" He was already lifting her legs up and she could feel his aroused member pressing against her entrance, her cheeks flushed with a dark shade of red at his words and she only closed her eyes and nodded her head slightly, he carefully pushed inside her since it was basically her first time, but no matter how slow he went it was still painful to her and she cried out and quickly covered her mouth with her palms so she could keep herself from screaming. Rivaille kept pushing inside her, spreading her legs wider and lifting them up as much as he could, eventually let them rest on his shoulders when he was finally fitting inside her, he took a hold of both her hands and intertwined their fingers together.

"It's alright, the pain will vanish sooner than you think." He reassured her right before he began thrusting in a slow pace, but that didn't prevent her from bleeding, however she calmed down in a few seconds and soon the pain turned into pleasure, her cries became moans that sounded more as a music to Rivaille's ears, he picked up the pace with each thrust and the pleasure he was getting was as much as he was giving, when she felt her orgasm closing, Mikasa moved her hips in the same pace as his thrusts until she hit what felt like an unstoppable orgasm, he felt her warm fluids covering his member and he didn't last any longer till he climaxed, it was too late to pull out of her and he came inside her, filling her up to the fullest and letting out a groan while so until his orgasm ended and he dropped his weight over her, his face buried to her neck as they both breathed in and out heavily.

Once their breaths became even, Mikasa wrapped her arms tightly around Rivaille's back and closed her eyes, she was tired, sore, sleepy. All she could think about now was a long, deep sleep to regain her strength. Rivaille's state wasn't any different from hers, he rolled around to lie down next to her and kept her close, holding her warmly in his arms and pulling the sheets over the two of them. "Sleep," He whispered, brushing her hair out of her face and planting a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'll leave in a short while." As much as he wanted to stay, he wouldn't take the risk of Eren seeing him with her, not that he wouldn't be able to face him, but more because Mikasa wouldn't. Just not yet.

* * *

"Annie!" Eren's voice was tumultuous. "Open the fucking door." Unstably treading to the door that seemed to get further with each step he made forward, the whole world rotating around him.

_"He's drunk" _A woman whispered to her husband as she sneaked through the window, it was late and they were bothered by the incessant shouting in the neighborhood.  
_  
He wasn't going home, not until he had seen her, not before she had answered his questions and disapproved all his doubts._

~To Be Continued~


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